Why We Adopt – Part Two

This past week was an emotional whirlwind with a very important adoption-related event right in the middle.  We received word on Wednesday afternoon, January 26th, 2011, that we had our “matching approval”.  Someone in Hong Kong had finally ruled that Man Yu Chen of Hong Kong would soon become our youngest son.  The months of uneasy confidence and trembling faith had given way to certainty.  Something concrete had finally happened.

When we adopted Eliot, we completed all the paperwork up front and sent the “dossier” – all the information intended to convince the government of Guatemala that Thom and Jill Inglin were the best choice for taking over the parenthood of one of their orphans – to Guatemala BEFORE we even set our eyes upon him.  In fact, he had not even been born.  We sent our paperwork knowing that we would eventually have a son, but with no idea who it would be.  We were fortunate – blessed, in fact – to receive a “referral” in a very short time.  We are convinced that God made our process with Eliot’s adoption nearly effortless so that we would not shrink from doing it a second time.

In Hong Kong, all of the children are considered “waiting children” – children who for whatever reason are no longer in the care of their birth parents.  Most if not all of these children have some sort of physical, medical or mental “imperfection” that in many cases makes it difficult to find adoptive parents for them.  Thus their classification as “waiting children”.  This is one of the things that made this second adoption different – we have gone through the “paperwork stage” of the adoption process with an actual picture of a real little boy before our eyes.  It has made it seem longer and more emotionally taxing than our previous adoption.  Moreover, this little boy is older and more aware than Eliot was.  Every day that went by was a day that WE were not holding our son, WE were not caring for his needs, WE were not reading him stories and playing games with him.  Every day was a day that this little boy, who through a face in a photograph had become an object of our affection, was unaware that he NEEDED a family and that he HAD a family that already loved him.

Which in a way brings me to the explanation of what I asserted to be the second reason why people adopt.  There are SO MANY MORE children who are waiting than this one to whom our family has been drawn.  And the gospel of Jesus Christ has a tendency to act on people in such a way that causes them to look beyond themselves to care for others, whether they be widows or orphans or your next door neighbor who is battling cancer or the family member whose marriage is falling apart or the guy on the street who just lost his job and his home and doesn’t know where his next meal is coming from.  ONE orphan is one too many.  1,000 orphans is an epidemic.  There are a number of estimates of how many orphans there are in the world, and it is difficult if not impossible to determine which statistic is the accurate one.  BUT, I submit it is safe to say that whether there is one, or one thousand, or one million, or 147 million, there are TOO MANY ORPHANS in the world for ANY of us to turn a blind or indifferent eye.  Thank God for the people who are willing to welcome these least into their lives and families – I know personally that it is only God’s grace that provokes such empathy and compassion.  And this is true whether adoption is impelled by the gospel or by some other motivation.  The compassionate grace of God must be behind it no matter what.  Only God loves like that.

So through this process of adopting a little boy who has been “waiting” our family has not only fallen in love with Man Yu Chen - “Peter Inglin” – but we have fallen in love with adoption.  For when we were unaware of our orphaned state, God adopted us and welcomed us into HIS family.  And through being part of our family, Peter will have an opportunity to become part of God’s family.  And there is nothing that compares with that!

“But when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth his Son, born of woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons. And because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, ‘Abba! Father!’”
(Galatians 4:4-6 ESV)

Why We Adopt – Part One

I just re-read my second blog post from April and realized that I promised to elucidate our reasons for adopting.  As we have explored the world of adoption, from inside and out, I’ve come to see that there are two primary reasons that people adopt.  There are many sub-categories below these two main reasons, and there may not always be a hard line of division between them, but most if not all of them fall into these two categories:

1.  Growing a family.

2. Caring for orphans.

It has been walking through this process of adopting a little boy with Down Syndrome that has brought this to light.  When we adopted Eliot, our reasons were much more oriented to reason one.  We desired to have a son.  We had raised two daughters and were beginning to think we were in the home stretch.  God had a wonderful surprise for us, and we are every day more delighted to have added Eliot to our family.

I must say that the gospel was at the center of WHO we chose to adopt, but not so much in the center of WHY we adopted.  This is not necessarily a bad thing.  We wanted to adopt cross-culturally because we wanted it to be very clear that our son was not ethnically identical to us.  This reason was gospel-centered because of the conversations about how adoption relates to the gospel that having an obviously adopted son would provoke.  But the reason we adopted in the first place was because we wanted a son – plain and simple.

One of the things I have thought about, and I will elaborate on this in part two, is that Eliot was not an orphan in the same sense that Peter is.  What I mean is that Eliot was not an abandoned or unwanted child in the same way that Peter is.  And this is one of the things that sets the reasons for adoption apart from one another.  Adoption and orphan care are related but not identical.  They are intertwined but not inseparable.  Adopting Peter, though it certainly is much more than simply caring for an orphan who needs a home, leans more in that direction because of the nature of his state of abandonment.  But I’m getting ahead of myself.  Stay tuned for part two.

He has Visited and Redeemed - NOW

“Blessed be the Lord God of Israel, for he has visited and redeemed his people…
that we, being delivered from the hand of our enemies, might serve him without fear, in holiness and righteousness before him all our days.”
Luke 1:68;74-75 ESV

We so easily overlook stunning truths in our zeal to devour more of the word of God.  I love these times when God SLOWS ME DOWN and causes me to look more closely and intimately at what He has promised, and how that relates to what He is doing and has done.

There are number of remarkable things about this passage.  For one, the present tense is breathtaking.  John is just born, Mary is likely still 3 months away from giving birth to Jesus.  And yet, in a very real sense, He HAS visited His people.  Furthermore, Jesus is 33 years from the atoning act that would be the final source of our redemption, but He HAS redeemed His people.  Not just then and there.  Not just when the Holy Spirit overshadowed Mary and caused the Holy Son to be conceived in her.  Not when the prophets announced again and again God’s intention to atone for the transgressions of His people, whether Jew or Gentile.  Not when God promised that the head of the serpent would be crushed and He shed the blood of animals to cover the nakedness of His disobedient children before He drove them out of Eden.  No, God HAS visited and redeemed His people from eternity past, before His word created a single atom that would become the matter of this world.  He CREATED with the intention of visiting and redeeming His people.

This present tense declaration of God’s salvation is everywhere in the scriptures.  One of the most meaningful for me is Psalm 65:3 - “When iniquities prevail against me, You atone for our transgressions.”  Do you see it there?  At the very moment when my sins are getting the better of me, God HIMSELF is right there with His redeeming visitation.  I need this every day, because every day I sin.  I need this every day, because every day I forget the reality and the GOODness of His visitation.

But why?  Why would THE Holy God choose to visit and redeem such a rebellious and useless bunch of ingrates?  Wretches, apostates, murderers and blasphemers, liars and thieves.  The best of us have fallen infinitely and irreversibly short of God’s perfect standard for His people.  Why bother?  Zechariah gives us a hint here in his profound prophetic declaration.  We’ve been delivered from the hand of our enemies to serve God’s purpose “without fear” – not out of duty or necessity, but out of the gratefulness of a heart that has been made holy and righteous by His redeeming sacrifice.  Because serving Him means being before Him, and not away from Him, ALL OUR DAYS – now and throughout all eternity!  What a joyful place to live!

How shall I know this?

"And Zechariah said to the angel, 'How shall I know this? For I am an old man, and my wife is advanced in years.'" (Luke 1:18 ESV)

"They take a narrow and disparaging view of the works of God, who believe that He will do no more than nature holds out to be probable, as His hand were limited to our senses or confined to earthly means. But it belongs to FAITH to believe that more can be done than carnal reason admits." John Calvin

As a new year begins, this is exactly the challenge that God has levelled to me: Will my faith waver and will doubt crush my confidence in Him when I cannot reason through the MEANS that He will use to complete His purposes? Will I trust in God when reason and nature fails, seeing that He is the author of and stands above both reason AND nature? "How shall I know this?" For we have no savings and do not make enough money to cover the cost of adoption over and above our monthly expenses. So goes my unbelief.

But God!

God has taken the last 4 months to dash to pieces any pretense of provision that I may have imagined that was not based in faith. We needed $6000 in 4 months to pay our agency fees - God provided nearly $7000! And He did it with nickles and dimes, with widows mites and coin jars - not the big flashy grants that we expected were going to be the foundation of our adoption funding. He did it the way He wanted to do it, not the way we thought it should or could be done. He turned our expectations on thier heads - and He taught us something about ourselves and about faith.

Calvin later goes on to point out that while Zechariah is struck dumb as a result of his unbelief, God does not withhold His promise. He fulfills the purpose in spite of the unbelief of the recipient of the promise. This is our gracious God. I am certain that the love that Zechariah had for his God was deepened by his experience of grace. I know this because that is how I have been affected by grace.

We have not been visited by the angel Gabriel who stands in the presence of God. But we have been visited by a conviction that God has equipped us with love and patience and a comfortable home - and a conviction that there are too many orphans in the world to let the rich resources of an affluent culture be squandered on leisure and inactivity. The directive to spend and be spent for the sake of the gospel daily rings in our ears. God's word has spoken clearly that caring for "the least of these" equals caring for Christ, and these blessings have been provided as a means to do so. So we trust that beyond reason and nature God will continue to provide what we need to rescue and nurture these little ones who are in need.